I've had this stuck in my head all day, so I figured it'd be fitting to write about the breakup dialogue. There are a lot of songs that follow this format, and each has its own distinct flavor that no doubt endears it to certain people more than others. And it's that nuance that interests me; the tiny details and subtleties of this otherwise pretty-universal experience that keeps these songs (and those awful, wonderful experiences) from blurring into one another. In "Don't You Want Me," the male dump-ee isn't just hurt and rejected, he's pissed. He shook this girl up and made her happy and now she's leaving him? And she still loves him, she says. But she guesses it's just what she must do.
This is a mile away from "Nothing Better" by The Postal Service. Ben Gibbard plays the mopey, heartbroken lover who won't let go. There are melodramatic images of cracked rib cages and literal broken hearts. He's clinging hard, still infatuated and gargling shit like "my darling, I love you so," trying to tell her how awesome it'd be if they got married. But there's something he's ignoring, namely the huge list of transgressions his ladyfriend alludes to. There's no fondness left on her end. He's had his chance. And again she has to leave.
It seems like she's always leaving (probably because of the relative male dominance in, well, everything), but in Titus Andronicus' "To Old Friends and New", Patrick Stickles seems resigned and apathetic. He's not obsessed, he's not in love; he seems pretty jaded with her, actually, and all he offers is a lukewarm sense of tolerance, letting her know that "it's alright, the way that you live." "To Old Friends..." isn't explicitly a breakup song (and the writer claims it's about family), but that confusion is what makes it so unique. Whereas the above stories have someone who's trying to keep the dream/ruse alive, this ship is pretty sunk. "We could build a nice life together if we don't kill each other first," she says. But everything's a mess; nothing is good. They're overlooking all of the awful things the other does as long as they "keep up (their) part of the deal." This is on some real Tainted Love shit.
It's easy to wax trite about how complicated relationships are, but trite things are often overplayed because everybody feels them. And just because everybody's felt a certain way doesn't make it insignificant; if anything, that's the exact opposite of what the cult of pop professes. Think about the last two relationships you had. Are they the same? (Hopefully the answer is no.) Underneath the surface of "breakup song" or "failed relationship" are myriad spaces to occupy, and that's what keeps tropes like this - and the rest of us - alive.
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